Song of the day: This Time I'm In It For Love - Player

"This time I'm in it for love
This time I'm in it to win" - Player

There are other unposted entries that should come before this one, but anyway...

Today was the day of "The Boy's" school trip. This year they visited a historic site where many of the early English Settlers landed. As a direct result of my encouragement, my husband volunteered to be a chaperone this go 'round. The trip cost $22.00 for each student. However, chaperones were charged the mere bargain basement rate of $6.00. This alone should have been a good enough hint to him as to the rapturous joy that lay ahead. Goody, goody gumdrops! Although the thought of spending hours of time with a large group of eight to ten year olds was a wonderful opportunity; I decided to make the ultimate sacrifice; and so made the difficult decision of repectfully bowing out.

"Cause in the scheme of things
You're gonna lose a few"

Earlier in the year, his teacher had asked me if I were going to accompany them on any of the year's field trips; because I am, after all, a "pre-approved and trusted official chaperone." After reminiscing over the last few trips that I had gone on with them, I smiled; and then suggested that someone 'more deserving' be given the chance this time around. And boy, did I have just the person they were looking for! That deserving person just happened to be (drum roll)...: My husband. He too, has been security screened and also falls within the 'pre-approved' category.

Long story short...They went. I stayed home. Husband calls me from his cellphone after the trip was over...after they had returned to school. "Come and get me...", he says dryly, "...please". They had gotten back into the city about a half hour sooner than I thought they should have. I had been robbed of about a half hour of peace and quiet. I had one foot in the shower stall when he called. However, he sounded pitiful...so pitiful in fact, that I skipped the shower, put my dirty clothes back on; then drove out to pick them up immediately. When I got to the school campus, he and "The Boy" were coming towards the car at breakneck speed. I will not go into detail here as to how my husband said the trip went. (The facts, as told to me by my husband will be logged into my private blog). However, I will say this: It will not come as a surprise to me if he chooses not to volunteer to be a chaperone for any future field trips again...ever. He did tell me that "The Boy" had been good.

"Even your best made plans
Before you know it, they are falling through
But that couldn't happen to me and you"

After making sure that they both had something to eat, it was soon time for me to get ready for work. And so, I leave for work...arriving in the pouring rain. I decide to sit in the car for a few minutes (to catch my breath), and then call my husband to let him know that I had safely arrived. Today, marks seven months of my following this routine...Seven damn months! Still, I am grateful to have a job.

"It's crazy to do it again
But how could I possibly lose"

I usually get to work early...about half an hour early. This is so that I can do my usual setup...wipe down the keyboard and desk with anti-bacterial, arrange my drink and coffee cup, and check the following websites(in this precise order): CNN, Reuters and LeMonde news(in French no less). There is a reason why I read the french website, and my husband is the only one who really knows. I then put in my book-on-tape. This week's feature is "Ya-Yas in Bloom" by Rebecca Wells. It is read by Judith Ivey. I am truly in love with this book...with this particular reading. I plug in my headphones, and tune out...The volume is at full blast. When I finally leave for the evening, I am on disk five of eight. Tonight has gone by very quickly. When it is over, I will miss the easy Southern comfortable feeling that this book has given me. So much so, that I may just have to listen to it again. It will certainly be better than listening to the mindless chatter going on around me.

The evening ends around 11:00pm-ish. Everyone packs up their stuff and leaves. I am happy to see them go. The lady who sits in front of me is also one of the last ones to go. She is a cerebral person; a fellow warrior, who is also caught up in the ongoing battle of today's economy. We speak very little to each other, but have high quality conversations whenever we do. Although we sit almost face-to-face, we have each strategically put large plants in between us, to block out views of each other, the sleepers; as well as of the seemingly always in motion, Young and the Restless. She and I are both quiet and settled people. Our silences are filled with a certain 'knowing' telepathy between us. I like her. She likes me. However, we both agree that we don't want to be looking up into each other's faces all night...and so we both decided to bring in large, leafy artificial plants. From a distance, our combined plants make our workstations appear to be an oasis in a mechanical, "Coke-and-Pepsi-canned", "empty-candy-wrapper-filled" desert.

On her way out, she asks me if I am ready to leave. I tell her to go ahead without me. "I need time to decompress", I say. I also need time to re-apply my invisible garment of warmth and humanity. I need time to turn myself back into huggable Mommy. I need time to turn myself back into beloved Wife.

The ride to and from work is precisely 24.4 miles...12.2 miles each way. And now with the longer summer days approaching, when I leave home to go to work, it is usually to sunny skies in the afternoons; and then later on...to pitch black skies, usually sprinkled with twinkling stars, for the evening's return trip.

And while, I need every mile...every turn of the wheel to complete this "going home" transformation; the process really starts the last few moments before I log off of the computer; before I take that walk down the short hallway, and through the three security enabled doors that eventually lead me to freedom. Most of all, I need time to turn back into myself; and I need to do it...alone.

"How could I lose?"

I get back home. I kiss my sleeping child and my half-asleep husband.

"This time I'm in it for you"

I am me again. Thank God!...and yes, I do really mean it...

I have already won.