Song of the day: I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

"I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours" - Jason Mraz

My niece's Spring break is nearing its end...and "The Boy's" Spring break has just begun. My husband took the kids to Wal-Mart, and then to the park today; giving me a much needed hour or so to myself. Tomorrow, there will be a family dinner at my brother's house. On Monday, my niece leaves to go back home. Her visit this year was considerably more tame than last year. Instead of tattling and fighting, this year she and "The Boy" chose to engage in highly charged debates and civilized discussions, featuring differences of opinions. I must say that I will definitely miss her. This time around, I believe that "The Boy" will miss her too.

"Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest"

Yesterday, I caught my niece humming a familiar tune. Actually, it is a song that is more than familiar to me; one that I sing almost every day. Alone. Out of earshot of anyone. It has been my personal soul-searching song. Upon hearing it, for a moment I was eerily taken aback; as this song is not a tune that one usually associates with being sung by eleven year olds. She certainly hasn't heard me sing it... and so as she hummed, I waited. I listened; needing to hear a bit more...just to make sure that I was hearing her correctly.

And then...I mustered up enough courage to casually ask her what she was singing. To this she quickly replied: "The Scientist". Yes, I did hear it correctly. She tells me that it is one of her most favorite songs. There was absolutely no way she could have known that it is also one of mine.

"And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some"

I then remember that I featured the song in a post I made in this blog sometime last summer. I smile and then go back to read it. The words remind me of how far I have come...and just what I had to do to get where I am today. (I'll spare the details this time around. Let's just save them for another post). Don't worry...it's all positive!

"Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and... damn you're free"

Looking back, I realized that somewhere along the way, I had given away far too much of my personal power and individuality; and in an effort to please, had put entirely too much effort into trying to be someone I was never comfortable being in the first place. I also remember that, for me to reclaim my spirit, and embrace peace; like "The Scientist", I had to "go back to the start". The fictitious "Scientist" and I have also come to this almost identical realization: Puzzles, numbers, and figures, do not speak as loud as the heart. So far, my family and friends seem to think that it is working for me. I definitely know that it is.

"Look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours..."

No longer "running in circles"....I have not looked back. I will not look back. I continue along my way...

... "Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning." ...

Peace to you and yours...


What-was-I-doing-last-year-at-this-time