Song of the day: Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen

"Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you? - Leonard Cohen"

Tuesday's child is full of grace...

According to my mom, I was born on a Tuesday morning around 7:30am. Keeping that in mind, it only seems fitting that I would turn the milestone age of fifty on a Tuesday. Last night I tossed and turned in anticipation of this day. I got "The Boy" up, dressed and fed and we were out of the door at 7:20am. All the while, I'm thinking: I am taking him to school now at age 49; but when I come back home and walk through the door again, I will be 50. For him, the morning was "business as usual". What reason should an eight year old care? For me? Well, I wasn't quite sure how I would feel. Not sure how I should feel. But I do know one thing: I am not going to hand in my ticket and board the "Old Fart" bus just because it may be expected of me. I take a look in the mirror. Shoot! I'm no raving beauty, but I pretty much like what I see. Very few wrinkles. Not too bad a figure (I've lost close to 20 pounds quite recently). A touch of gray; a well placed streak of it, extending from the temple and going towards the back of my head. Because I brush my hair strategically, hardly anyone knows that it is there. However, I do; and I'm going to fix it with some assistance from Clairol; because, if it continues at this rate, I may be well on my way to resembling Lily Munster in about two years. And people, that just ain't gonna happen!

"It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah"

I came home and waited for the dreaded phone calls and emails. The first call came from my sister. We spoke about how quickly time passed and she again reiterated that I didn't look fifty and that how, for the most part, I seemed well-preserved. I accepted her complements because after all, "Tuesday's child is full of grace". Next call? Mom. I was expecting her to say something about my butt and how big it was, but instead, she told me how good I looked and said how she "enjoyed having her children over for dinner on Sunday". She also said that she couldn't believe that she was the mother of a fifty year old and that she hoped I would continue to look better. The conversation ended with each of us saying how much we loved the other and her hoping that I live for at least 50 more years. I thanked her. It was not the "walk to the electric chair" phone call that I thought it would be. "Tuesday's child is full of grace". There were more phone calls and emails, but a lady doesn't have to tell all she knows and hears.

"Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah"

I came home and started working online for a while. As I went through my usual employment applications, research, etc; I happened to glance inside of my work folder and noticed an envelope that hadn't been there this morning. It had a "Hallmark" seal on it and it was from my husband. He was really cool about it. I never saw him place it there. This in itself is a miracle, because he will tell you himself: I see just about EVERYTHING! Now, I will say this: Despite my apparent openness with my postings, I am not going to share with you the sentiments nor the entire contents of this particular envelope. Some things to me will remain private and sacred. However, I will say this: I was moved to tears. Not just the occasional ladylike dabbable tear... but the bawling, snotting, red-eyed, ugly faced and heaving shoulders kind. And it felt soooo good....

"I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you"

I am glad to have made it through this life, relatively unscathed for this long. And no, I am not attempting to eulogize myself. Not quite ready to leave this earth yet. However, I have to acknowledge that I did not get to this point in life alone and all by myself. There were friends and relatives along the way.

...I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah"

There were also experiences, pleasant and unpleasant; and from each, worthy of extracting a lesson. Sometimes I wish that I would have known then, what I know now; but I realize that each and everything, is what makes me whole and that I am made up of my life's experiences. Thank you God. "Tuesday's child is full of grace"

"Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah"